ABV Network and Star Wars - Match Made in the Galaxy?

Are you like me and a huge Star Wars fan; especially the original trilogy?  If one of those movies is on, I have to stop channel surfing and watch it.  Those three movies are pure cinema joy and will always be considered classics.  Have you ever wondered who from the ABV Network would be cast as the major characters in those movies?  Wonder no more as Bourbon Wes has done the work for you. 

Before we get started, I must say that for this exercise I only used characters that were in the original trilogy.  If you don’t see characters like Mace Windu, Ben Solo, Jar-Jar Binks, etc. please don’t @ me.  We are only focusing on the first three. 

1.      Yoda (Jason Brauner):   To me this is a no-brainer.  Both are on the shorter side, have gray goatees, and have a very different but endearing way of speaking.  I can only imagine a conversation with Yoda being as entertaining as the conversations I have had with Brauner.  Yoda is also the wise Jedi who has seen and experienced everything in the galaxy while Jason is that person in the bourbon world. 

2.      Obi Wan Kenobi (Steve Akley):  This one was pretty easy to pick out for me as well.  Elder statesmen of the group in Star Wars and as owner and creator, Steve is the wise and elder statesman of the network.  Steve has also helped guide people new to bourbon into the industry and network as Obi Wan did with young Jedi.  Plus, it is cool to know he gets zapped at the end of the first movie. 

3.      Luke Skywalker (Adam Stumpf):  This was a hard one for me, but I ended up with Adam for a few reasons.  In the original trilogy, Luke is the young, up and coming guy who has these skills but not many people know about them.  By the end of the third movie, he is a well-rounded Jedi who is poised to take his spot at the top.  When I think of what Adam is doing at Stumpy’s, I think he has a parallel to Luke’s arc.   

4.      Leia Organa (Mc New):  This was a toss-up between two people, but I went with Mc New here.  In the movies, Leia is one of the driving forces behind the rebel alliance and is unwavering in her pursuit of victory.  She is a major character in the series and we all remember her outfit in the Jabba the Hut scene.  On the ABV Network, she is one of the major players who has the same drive to improve and advance the network to become the top spirits-based entertainment platform.  Also, we all remember her Fourth of July post from last year.  

5.      Darth Vader (Me):  I was hesitant to pick a character for myself but in going through the roster, I think there is no better fit in most people’s mind than Vader for me.  We all know the Vader arc and in the first three movies, he is clearly a villain, but we find out that deep down he is conflicted and has good in him.  If polled, I feel most ABV Network members would nominate me for Vader so I will own it.  Plus, he dies in the end so it is an audience applause moment. 

6.      Han Solo (Royce Neeley):  I think this is probably the best fit for any character that there is.  In the movies, Han is a reluctant hero who is a smuggler by trade.  By the time the trilogy ends, he is full blown hero on the right side of the law.  Royce (and his family) has the same arc in his life. He comes from a family of bootleggers and Royce has transformed the Neeley family to the legal (good) side of the bourbon industry.  Plus, he is the reluctant hero of the love bird commercials for the network. 

7.      Chewbacca (Beka Sue):   Let’s take the visual of the hairy beast out of the equation because Beka Sue is anything but.  Chewy is the loyal friend and partner to Han and in quite a few areas, he is more responsible and capable than Han.  As we know, Royce’s lovely wife fills some of that same space in their business relationship at Neeley Family Distillery.  I also think Beka Sue would be dependable and capable in a fight and it is arguable that Chewy is the most skilled fighter of the rebel alliance. 

8.      R2D2 (Jeff Lundstrum):  R2D2 is one of the most popular characters in the Star Wars series.  He is resourceful, always willing to help no matter what, and is generally loved by all audiences.  I cannot think of a better match to the lovable, crowd favorite R2D2 than Jeff Lundstrom.  Loyal to the network fully, great side kick, funny personality, and the ability to tinker and fix things. 

9.      C3PO (Renee Howe):  It was hard to match both C3PO to someone on the network as well as Renee to a character, so I landed here.  I think there are some correlations here.  C3PO is a very proper speaking droid and Renee has that very pronounced Canadian accent that corresponds.  Both have higher pitched voices and in their own way, they seem to annoy people at times. 

10.   Emperor Palpatine (Alan Bishop):  I think Alan is a natural fit for the Emperor.  Both are very driven in their respective fields at being the best.  Both have no issue with telling you like it is and are very vocal and public about their intentions.  I can also see Alan sitting on a throne, in a robe, planning the demise of his enemies. “Unlimited POWER!!!!” 

11.   Lando Calrissian (Corey Welch):  For those that are not Star Wars geeks, Lando was a smuggler.  He wasn’t a huge character in the trilogy but as I got to thinking about his character, Corey came to mind.  Corey is a bit of a bourbon smuggler from the standpoint of traveling the U.S. (pre-COVID) and obtaining bourbon for people who cannot find certain things in their area.  Plus, both are pretty pretentious characters (Mr. Corey Welch). 

12.   Bobba Fett (Jeremy Schell):  Bobba Fett was a character that was more prominent in some of the newer movies but is a very popular character.  He is a bounty hunter who is notorious for finding his target and finishing the mission.  I don’t have a lot of correlations between he and Jeremy other than Jeremy seems to be the one person who is able to seek out and obtain his targets: allocated bourbon.  If you are jealous of the fact that Jeremy can find these allocated bottles easily, take solace in the fact that Bobba Fett dies in the final movie. 

13.   Cantina Band (Susie Youngson and Bo Cumberland):  Not a ton of correlation here outside of the fact that Susie the “singer” of the ABV Network group and Bo often produces on the same projects she performs.  That is all I got. 

14.   Mon Mothma (Jolee K):  I could not leave Jolee out, so I tied her to Mon Monthma.  Mon was a leader of the rebel alliance and a red head.  Jolee works at Spirits of French Lick distillery who have some of that rebel mentality to them.   

15.   Wedge Antilles (Kevin Rose):  Wedge is an often overlooked but very important character in Star Wars.  Arguably, he is the second-best fighter pilot the alliance has after Luke.  He is a major player in both attacks on the Death Star and probably deserves more billing than he received.  Kevin is the same thing for the ABV Network.  Runs the Whiskey Corner blog, organized the writing group, and edits the articles.   

16.   Tuskan Raiders (J Roe):  No brainer here.  The Tuskan Raiders are a group of people living in the desert of Tatooine and they do two things.  1)  Take over your caravan.  2)  Yell very loud, unintelligible words.  When she is on the shows, J Roe typically takes over the show by yelling very loud, unintelligible words.  Makes sense. 

17. Jawas (Lenny Eckstein):Jawas are not very important to the overall story line in Star Wars.They are extremely short scavengers who buy and sell their goods from a remote land. The come off as having a bit of an attitude, probable due to their size. Although you can’t see their faces, I can imagine them eating canned Bantha during their lunch break from rebuilding a droid for resale. I am not sure why, but most people seem to like the Jawas when they are on screen.